5 Types of Professors and How to Deal With Them

          This is by no means an exclusive list, as these are not the only professors you will encounter. But they happen to be the most reoccurring types of professors I've encountered.

5) The Overload

          Most professors tend to stick with the syllabus (the next post will deal with the syllabus) so the syllabus is your first clue as to what the class will be like. If your syllabus looks like this:




          
          You are in trouble.
          If you look closely, the first exam is four weeks into the semester. The exam will cover nine chapters including cell biology, physiology and tissue systems. That's nine chapters of advanced biology covered in the seven previous classes (classes are twice a week). And if you look again, the midterm exam is three weeks after that. By then, you will have covered 13 chapters or half the textbook. Those two exams are worth a third of your total grade.
          And if you think it gets easier after that, well, just keep looking.
          Now, science classes follow different guidelines. There is a lot of information that needs to be covered and classes tend to be gigantic. But what I'm getting at is the trend behind the syllabus. Almost every chapter of the textbook is in the syllabus somewhere. In between preparing for the next exam, you also have to work your research paper and presentation.
          Do professors really expect you to know everything from the circulatory system to homeostasis?
          Yes, yes they do. I covered that in my last post.

What to do:

          To those of you who read my last post (thank you, by the way), it may surprise you to learn that you read 2,000 words. That's five pages on a word document. I divided those 2,000 words into six subheadings, then I pasted some images in between paragraphs and I also kept my paragraphs short. That's the name of the game: breaking it down.
          If you try to cover nine chapters in the week (or night) before the exam, you will fail. But, what would happen if you read a chapter per week? Well, you would only have to read two chapters instead of nine before the exam. Or, what if kept up with the lessons and read each chapter after class? If you take good notes, you would fly through those chapters. You would essentially be preparing for an exam every week.
          I know what you're thinking, you have other classes that may involve even more work and are actually part of your major. Well, let me tell you, from experience, the only thing worse cramming for one midterm is cramming for five midterms.
          Some good news, if you spend an hour every night reading for at least one of your classes (weekends too) you should be fine. And yes, I said nights. It helps your neurons make new pathways if they have eight hours to rest between study sessions. Guess when I learned that.Yea, Human Bio.

4) The Free Spirit

          Don't let the name deceive you, this professor needs to be disciplined and in control for this class to work. The syllabus looks like this:

          I know, I know. She messed up the numbering. But notice something missing? Like chapter numbers? We had a journalism textbook and we did have to read many chapters throughout the semester. Just not in class.The professor trusted us enough to to come to class prepared.
           We would come to class and our professor would answer any questions we had. She would also talk about her experience working for various newspapers, writing novels and traveling to the middle east. Since it was a journalism class, we also spent time, you know, writing stories. She asked to write Op-eds for the college newspaper (not the one I edit): one guy wrote about gym etiquette, someone else about voting rights and one guy wrote about Sodom and Gomorrah. That's what her classes were like.
            And yes, we had homework, quizzes and exams. This is college after all. But we hardly spent any class time preparing for exams. I'm not saying they were easy but since we actually learned something during class, studying and taking tests seemed like a formality.

What to do:

             It may surprise you to learn that free spirit professors are rare. It may also surprise you to learn that not everyone likes them. It only takes a few people to ruin a class like this. You know the kind, they never contribute and occasionally miss class. True story: when about half my journalism class was late or absent one Monday, the professor gave a pop quiz. We had to answer questions like: name a newspaper from New Jersey and who sits left of you. She also called people to the board and edited their homework in front of the class in the projector. No, she wasn't cruel. That is how the class worked, you were there to learn how to write a story.
              If you pay attention in class, I guarantee you will pass. It's almost impossible not to with professors like these. Ask me anything about King Lear or The Golden Age of Spain if you don't believe me.

3) The Non-Professor

              There are two kinds of classes in which you will not learn anything new. This is by far the most annoying of the two. Imagine taking the very worst of the Free spirit above: experience, relevant information, practice and actual learning. Now replace it with the very worst of the Overload: the multiple exams, chapter readings and large amounts of homework.
              What you have is First Year Seminar. An useless, worthless, uninspired effort by many colleges to prepare freshmen for college (as opposed to this blog). Every class is devoted to preparing for the next test. The tests are about how to take tests for other classes. And for a final project: you have to visit three clubs or campus events and write about them. The semester plays out like a bizarre experiment designed to find out how long students can pretend to care (about six weeks).

              Notice how there are only 14 topics for 16 weeks of classes? That's because the class met only once per week and we needed two classes for the final and the midterm.
              I never took a class with the professor again, so for all I know, she could be the best professor ever and victim to circumstance. All I can tell you is that I don't remember a single class where I didn't start doing homework for my next class. We had a field trip once, to the college gymnasium. I never read a single chapter of the book but I got an A on the essay.
              Don't think this was an isolated incident. My anthropology, feminism, theater and art history classes played out the same way. The professor asked us to read a chapter before class, he or she re-read the chapter in class, we had homework on the chapter and then we had a test on the chapter. Repeat for the next chapter. And we spent a week reviewing before each exam. Not only did I not learn anything in these classes, I had to devote time and energy to them. There were projects and papers where we basically had to answer questions out of a textbook.

What to do:

               Follow the Overload approach or drop it before it's too late.

2) The Bare Minimum

              This is other side of the Non-professor coin. I would include the syllabus but some of them didn't even give one out and the others I used as coasters. Instead, here is a breakdown iof what each class was like:
              Philosophy: the professor attempted to have metaphysical discussions with a group of college freshmen every Friday afternoon. Imagine how well that worked out. On the plus side: no homework, quizzes or papers. There was a midterm and a final.
              Politics: the professor read out-loud the chapters he assigned for reading. He waited for students to answer questions. It never happened. Again, a midterm and a final.
              Linguistics: We watched Youtube clips for an hour and left early: We had two projects and one paper.

What to do:

               This one is up to you. On the plus side, if you ever open the textbook, you're probably ready for the exam. On the downside, you won't learn anything from this professor as hard as you may try.

1) The Nazi Sympathizer 

              We've all been there. You show up one day to history class and your professor surprises the class by bringing his very own copy of "My Battle". A first edition English translation of Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf".

              
              And one day, he tells you about the great new summer read he found.



               And he also brings his private collection of Nazi medals and artifacts. (No, I won't include a picture of them. You gotta draw the line somewhere).

What to do:

               You can be an adult about it and put up with him or drop the class. Or, you can do what I did an write down the craziest things he's ever said:

"Why is there a holocaust museum in America if the holocaust happened in Europe?"
"People think the colonists committed a genocide. Are you kidding me? It's not like they started coughing everywhere, yelling: die, you son of a bitch!"
"[Hitler] loved dogs. He banned smoking."